Excerpt from HORSING AROUND WITH MURDER:
I managed to keep a straight face when Larry the llama sauntered up from behind and snaked his head over the woman’s shoulder. He snatched the celery from her grip and started crunching, leaking green drool onto her head.
She responded with frantic hand-flapping.
Larry’s ears went back and he aimed his damp nose at the irritating human.
She stamped her feet and yelled louder, clearly unaware that a llama would read these actions as signs of aggression.
By now, Larry’s ears lay flat against his neck. I knew what was coming next. I could have called out a warning. Maybe I should have. It would have been the kind thing to do, but I didn’t. Hey, I wasn’t feeling the warm fuzzies for a woman I was convinced had tried to kill me, not once, but twice. So I held my breath as Larry bobbed his head a couple of times, then angled it upward one last time before lowering it, stretching his neck as far as possible without dislocating any vertebrae, and let fly.
The foul-smelling spray caught her square in the face.
Her ear-splitting scream intensified to a sonic shriek as green-flecked spit dribbled down her chin and onto her cleavage, staining the pristine white blouse.