My Heroine Conducts an Interview

This exclusive interview is conducted by Fur Ball Fever’s Grace Donnelley, a take-charge kind of gal who runs a Jersey Shore pet-spa. With her eccentric ex-hippie aunt living with her, the last thing Grace needed was more trouble … until someone kidnapped a prizewinning pooch entrusted to her care. Too bad the only man qualified to help was her former flame, Nick Jackson, Fur Ball Fever’s smokin’ hot bodyguard.

Now that law and order is restored to the small shore community called Saltwater Estates, here is Grace’s promotional interview with Nick.

Fur Ball Fever - Side Panel

Grace: <smiling at the camera while tugging on the arm of a damp hunk in a skimpy towel> It’s time for my promo interview with you. Camera’s running. Come on out, Nick. You look great. Amazing. Stupendous. Hey, this is no time for false modesty. Nothin’ says lovin’ to romance readers like a half-naked hunk wearing only a towel and a scowl.

Nick: <glaring at Grace while gripping the towel knotted around lean hips> Was it really necessary to drag me out of the shower? I feel like a sex object. <the towel parts to reveal more than a sliver of tanned thigh>

Grace: <staring at the expanse of lovely naked muscle> I wanted the reader to see you in all your glory—so to speak—exactly the way you looked when I approached you for help in Chapter 1 of Fur Ball Fever. Remember? Someone had stolen that nasty little ball of fur called Miss Coco Chanel, and I needed your permission to watch the security video.

Nick: <turning bright red under his bronze tan and lapsing into the Southern drawl he uses when upset> Thanks for remindin’ me of the most embarrassing moment of my life, darlin’. That incident is somethin’ I’m tryin’ to forget.

Grace: There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Who knew you’d be so … uh … excited to see me even after you’d dumped me?

Nick: A man’s most important part often has a mind of its own.

Grace: The point I was trying to make is that it wasn’t your fault that you lost the towel. I was trying to stop myself from falling.

Nick: And you thought grabbing a flimsy towel would save you?

Grace: That wasn’t all I grabbed. And, if memory serves, it wasn’t so flimsy. <she focuses on Nick’s nicely tented towel> Oh, my goodness, this feels like déja vu. I love it that I still have the same effect on you, even after all we’ve been through.

Nick: That part will never change, Gracie. <changing the subject> Can we talk about something else? I’d prefer to discuss something that makes me look macho and alpha male. <pauses> I’ve got it. How about my chivalrous nature? I read somewhere that romance readers are turned on by chivalrous men.

Grace: <smiling> I guess we can talk about that. You’ve come a long way since I first met you. Remember how I thought you were overbearing, controlling, and chauvinistic?

Nick: <blowing out a hard-done-by sigh> It’s hard on a man when the woman he loves takes huge risks—like infiltrating a fetish club, stowing away on a suspect’s yacht, and taking down a perp using only leftover spray paint, a canister of pepper spray, and a paintball gun. Is it my fault I had to protect you?

Grace: Hey, I had excellent reasons for everything I did. I assessed the risks and took appropriate precautions.

Nick: <incredulous> Pepper spray? Against a psychopath? <catches Grace’s ferocious scowl> But I digress. Let me be the first to point out that I saved your life. That’s pretty chivalrous.

Grace: <nodding> Yes, it is. You risked your life to save mine. It doesn’t get more chivalrous than that.

Nick: What’s more, in your fantasy, I was the White Knight, and you were a damsel in distress. <Closes his eyes for a moment, no doubt picturing the scene where Grace submitted to being handcuffed to the bed with furry restraints> I rescued you. That was the best part of the book if you ask me. <flashes a megawatt smile>

Grace: <dreamily>Mine too. It was a turning point in our relationship. Nobody can do the naughty things we did without a ton of trust. <catches herself>  Hey, I’m supposed to be the one taking over today, not you.

Nick: Let’s call it a win-win.At the risk of sounding immodest,I’d like to point out that by the end of the book, you came around nicely to recognizing my many virtues.

Grace:True enough.Let’s see, besides chivalrous, you’re brave, honest, tenacious, you hate injustice, and you’re a first-rate kisser. <checks watch> Oh dear. I see we’ve run out of time. Next on our agenda is a guest appearance on Entertainment Tonight to publicize the movie version of Fur Ball Fever. Due to popular demand, Auntie Beth will join us.

Nick: Tell me I can wear real clothes for the cameras.

Grace: Absolutely. In the leathers you wore when you tailed me into the fetish club. You know, tight leather pants, leather vest with cut-outs and metal studs, and those steel-toed work boots. <fans herself with her hand> Yowza! Did someone turn up the thermostat? I’m getting all worked up just thinking about it.

Nick: <quirking one eyebrow> I’m sure I can take care of the situation. Do we have enough time?

Grace: Later, and that’s a promise. Right now, I need to get ready for our cameo on ET. I’ll wear my undercover outfit, you know, black leather bustier, cat woman mask, hooker boots. Too bad my leather mini was ruined by its dip in the Intracoastal Waterway, but I found one that’s even sexier.

Nick: Do you think ET will mind if we’re a half hour late?

Grace: Only a half hour? <sighs deeply> What am I thinking? I have to help Auntie Beth cram all her important parts into her dress. Good job it’s stretchy. She wants to wear her hot pink latex mini with the band of feathers around the hem.

Nick: <warily> Are you sure she won’t explode out of this dress too? Once was more than enough. I still have recurring nightmares. I don’t think America’s viewing audience is ready for the sight of your Auntie Beth’s big kahunas bouncing wild and free.

Grace: Shouldn’t be a problem. This dress is a size bigger than the first. <a worried expression crosses her face> Though last night, she was bitching about packing on some weight. She only ate one slice of pizza, not her usual entire medium.

Nick: That’s a bad sign. There’s no time to lose. <he offers Grace his arm> Shall we?

Grace: <shouting over her shoulder to the camera as she  sashays along beside Nick> I hope you enjoyed meeting Nick Jackson in the flesh as much as I did! Watch for us on Entertainment Tonight.

Message from Author: Hey, a girl can fantasize, can’t she?

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