As my contribution to Romancing the Hop, I am delighted to offer a ‘how-to’ for cranking up your romance quotient.
One lucky commenter on my blog will win one of my books (winner’s choice, so make sure you check out my books). Then, when you are finished your visit here, I invite you to go on over to the central Romancing the Hop site at http://carrieannbloghops.blogspot.ca/p/romancing-blog-hop.html,where you can discover many other fabulous romance authors, win prizes, and have a great time.
At the risk of sounding immodest, the advice I’m about to impart today is so simple, yet so brilliant, I expect to be awarded a significant humanitarian award. Like the Nobel Peace Prize. Or the Order of Canada. Or the coveted Above-and-Below-the-Sheets Romance Upgrade Award.
Seriously!
At this very moment, men of all ages are wandering through life in a state of panic, not to mention despair, having left the purchase of a birthday or anniversary gift for their lady-love until the last possible moment. We don’t know what causes this unspeakable madness. Performance anxiety? Selective amnesia? An expectation that a pair of tickets to the next Yankee’s game is an acceptable gift? Reasons abound. They vary from man to man, and they are irrelevant. But I digress. Whatever the cause, I’ve seen many a dude, his eyes glinting with desperation, manly brow beaded with driblets of sweat, scouring jewelery stores, candy counters, and lingerie racks in a frenzied quest for the perfect gift, one that will scream romance to his lady-love.
Please don’t get me wrong. I enjoy receiving diamonds, chocolate, and edible panties (‘Strawberry Passion’ rocks) as much as the next woman. Hey, I would kill for a Tanzanite pendant and matching earrings. I am not, I repeat, NOT advocating we scrap the lavish gift-giving ritual. Nevertheless, I contend that there’s more to demonstrating romance than a 20-pound Lady Godiva gift tower. To put my money where my mouth is, I will share with you the secret for injecting more romance into your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom:
A man must learn what makes his woman tick.
Yes, folks, it really is that simple.
Since the beginning of time, we women have struggled, sadly with limited success, to instill more romance into our relationships. The good news is, the failure is not our fault. Seriously. The key to living the romantic dream nestles in the capable, not to mention long-fingered, sensitive, well-manicured, sinewy, and delightfully work-roughened hands of our romantically-challenged main squeeze. Think, for example, how wonderful it would be if our man grasped that overt ogling of the waitresses at Hooters was an unconditional no-no; how delightful if our man embraced our hormone-whipped mood swings with a hug, reassuring words, and an offer to clean the toilets; how glorious if our man listened with unfeigned interest to our frustrations, hurts, and complaints—without offering advice on how we should handle the situation; how totally sublime if our man memorized all our most sensitive spots and lavished attention on each and every of them. Frequently. Gently but firmly. The way we love most.
Okay, so I sense skepticism. How, you ask, can we impart this knowledge to our menfolk without indulging in mind-melding or nasty threats involving sharp implements? In the interest of female solidarity, I’m willing to share my mind-blowing ‘how-to’ secret:
Introduce the love of your life to romance fiction.
Okay, so I’m taking the high road and ignoring the eye-rolls. Bear with me. To achieve this goal, I have devised an Action Plan containing Tasks, Sub-Tasks, and Milestones.
The first task is sneaky. It exploits men’s love of logic. This is where you explain to him that romance novels provide unlimited opportunities for a man to plumb the depths (so to speak) of the mysterious world of Venus. In the process, he might even reach new insight into Martians. How, I ask you, can any man in his right mind resist unveiling the feminine mystique–what we love, what we hate, what turns us on, what turns us off, in short, what makes us tick?
Once you reach the first milestone (his buy-in that romance novels offer men untold benefits), it’s time to implement task two. Take a deep breath and drop a hint that, going forward (that’s man-speak, required to indicate you’re on his wave-length), his enlightenment will cause those Gates of Paradise to open more often. And bingo! He’s riveted by the bait of abundant sex. You’ve achieved the second milestone.
At this point, you must advance quickly to task three. Tap into his competitive streak by recounting your recurring fantasy of a man sprawled in an airport chair, legs crossed, waiting for his flight, briefcase and laptop at his feet—a manly man, a hunk who is truly comfortable in his own skin, a studmuffin who is dabbing the tears in his eyes, a hottie who has discarded his business report on financial trends in favor of the latest Nora Roberts bestseller. Assure him that at the end of the day (more man-speak), only real men read romance.
If you’ve done your job properly, you’ll soon hear him beg for Maureen Fisher’s newest romantic crime mystery, or even romances by lesser-known authors like Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kristan Higgins, and Susan Mallery. Simply hand your dude the mushiest romance novel you can find, place a box of tissues within easy reach, and give him space to do the rest.
Mission accomplished! I offer you a transformed man, a man who understands women inside and out, and, more to the point, a man who knows what to do to and how to do it to crank up the romance quotient.
Seriously!
So if you would like to share, what was the best gift you received from your main squeeze? Remember, one lucky commenter on my blog will not only win one of my books (winner’s choice), but will also be eligible for one of the Grand Prizes. After that, I invite you to go on over to the central Romancing the Hop site at http://carrieannbloghops.blogspot.ca/p/romancing-blog-hop.html,where you can discover many other fabulous romance authors, win prizes, and have a great time.
Maureen Fisher’s Books
The Jaguar Legacy
(Hot Paranormal, Hot Jungle Love)
http://amzn.to/MscwTW (US)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005LIALVE (UK)
5 Stars: “An intricately woven tale of mystery, romance and the supernatural …”
5 Stars: “Hilarious banter, scorching sexual tension, gripping suspense, mysticism—The Jaguar Legacy has it all! …”
Ancient Danger Stalks the Jungle on Velvet Paws
A journalist determined to unveil the truth …
Journalist Charley Underhill barges in on a Mexican archaeological dig, bent on sifting rumors from truth about several unexplained deaths in the remote region. She has serious doubt it was an ancient curse that killed the men. If it means keeping a watchful eye peeled for hairy, hungry predators or lying to the no-good womanizing archaeologist with a sexy Scottish accent, brilliant scientific mind, and penchant for gaudy Hawaiian shirts, so be it. Only the juiciest of exposés will fund her mother’s life-saving treatment.
An archaeologist hell-bent on preventing a premature press leak …
Uncovering the past is archaeologist Dr. Alistair Kincaid’s purpose in life. Still smarting from a ruthless betrayal, he guards his latest discovery, an ancient Olmec city buried deep in the jungles of Oaxaca, in the hopes of making a dazzling comeback. He won’t let a snoopy reporter, even one with a quirky sense of humor, smarts, and a heartwarming smile, destroy his last chance at success. Or steal his heart.
Together, they uncover long-buried secrets best left untouched …
Strands from past lives intertwine with the present, drawing the couple deeper into a legacy of shapeshifting and danger, romance and evil, reincarnation and karma. Torn between saving her mother’s life and betraying the man she loves, Charley must make an impossible choice.
Fur Ball Fever
A romantic crime mystery spiked with attitude (most of it warped), tons of humor, and enough steamy sex to drive those who dare read it racing for a cold shower
http://amzn.to/QqYdOC (Amazon US)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B005L40LX6 (Amazon UK)
5 Stars: “One for the Money meets Best in Show.”
5 Stars: “Fun romance with laugh out loud humor!”
An impulsive pet spa owner who loses her client’s prize pooch …
After a lifetime of impetuous mistakes, pet spa owner Grace Donnelly outdoes herself when she loses Miss Coco Chanel—a shoo-in to win the annual Jersey Shore Fur Ball. Money, careers, and lives are in jeopardy. Too bad her helpers consist of an aging hippie aunt, a renegade schnauzer, and a drag queen. Worst of all, the only man truly qualified to help is her former flame, the hunkiest bodyguard north of the Mason-Dixon Line.
A smokin’ hot bodyguard with his own agenda …
Security specialist Nick Jackson faces his worst nightmare when Grace’s amateur investigation nearly blows his undercover operation. Unless he nails the con-artist who scammed local seniors and whacked a witness, his homicidal granddaddy will take justice into his own liver-spotted hands. To salvage his case, his sanity, and his ex-lover’s velvety skin, Nick joins forces with the sassy crusader who rubs him the wrong way—and so many right ways too.
Together, they weather an explosion of murder, mayhem, and fun …
Action bounces between a beach harboring washed-up corpses, a fancy yacht no honest preacher could possibly afford, and the bawdiest nightclub in Atlantic City. Hazards multiply like bunnies, culminating in romance … and a Fur Ball extravaganza the locals will never forget.
great post. love the covers. they are now on my To buy list. Thanks for being a part of the hop. I hope that you had a great Labor day weekend!
jessangil at gmail dot com
Why I like Romance Novels….The reason I like Romance Novels so much is because it is one place where I can be anywhere like England, Scotland, Rome, Ireland, or anywhere in the US. I can also be in any time like 1200’s Scotland, 1500’s England, 1900’s Chicago. I can be anyone like a princess, a servant, a werewolf, a duchess, a vampire, or a lost soul. But no matter what I get the privilege and the experience to overcome many different obstacles and find love. I am a mother of three teenagers as well and there are many days when I need an escape and my heart needs a rest from the trials of being a parent and trying to do what is best for everyone but yourself. I have overcome cancer, loss, and financial problems and Romance Books let my heart soar and feel free. Let me tell you in this world, and during this time where life can have so many struggles it is great that you can be, have, and do so many things to find love and romance and still be yourself!
angelheart618@gmail.com
My husband has read some romance novels – but then he told me he would skip through the sex scenes and start up again ‘when the story started again.’ Gah!
jochibi AT yahoo DOT com
I guess the best present I received was my laptop (total surprise). But I also received an Ipod touch, and ereader so I guess my favorite presents are the electronic kind. Now I want a Kindle Fire. If I don’t win one that’s my Christmas pick. I just make it easy on my husband and hint a lot about what I want. I can’t see him reading a romance!
mcv111 at hotmail dot com
The best gift my husband ever gave me was a pair of angel earrings 🙂 He calls me his angel so they are extra special.
lindsayavalon (at) gmail (dot) com
He got me a Kindle. I enjoyed your post.
sstrode at scrtc dot com
Nice post.
bn100candg(at)hotmail(dot)com
What a great hop! Grand prizes, old friends to visit and new ones to meet… and chances to win at each stop too. I’m in Blog heaven! :-}
Loved the post and have added Fur Ball Fever and The Jaguar Legacy to my wishlist.
Thanks for being part of the hop and for the chance to win.
reneebennett35(at)yahoo(dot)com
Great post! It really does sound simple….now how do I go about convincing hubby of that?!? I love it. My favorite gift I received was a clean house. My husband had the house professionally cleaned before bringing our 5th son and me home from the hospital after his birth. He was born 1 week before Christmas and our house looked amazing. I got to rest and concentrate on our family and our new edition. I loved it.
Mel
bournmelissa at hotmail dot com
My most favorite romantic gift my hubby gave me was a very,very nice gift card to our local bookstore with these words written”I know how much you love romance and although I might not always show it, I know that the romance books you read mean a lot to you and make you very happy. So might gift to you is guilt free shopping at your favorite bookstore.” Isn’t he great…
koonie2888 at yahoo dot com
I think my hubby lost his romance gene somewhere. The only author he will read is Louis L’Amour. He has given me several nice gifts but lately I think I love my Kindle best. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Fur Ball Fever sounds like a fun read.
pamp@roadrunner.com
Hi, thanks for participating!
Fur Ball Forever is now on my wishlist. I’m a sucker for stories with dogs since there aren’t that many.
AnnaM.
doxisrcool at aol.com
(yes, doxis are for Dachshunds.)
The best gift I ever got from my husband was probably my Nook color or my iPad! I use them all the time for reading and lots of other stuff now that I travel back and forth to Virginia so much to see my daughter and her family. Best.Gifts.Ever!
Barbara
bbsbooknook@aol.com
You can’t go wrong by tossing a pooch into a romance! thanks for participating!
shermie40 at yahoo dot com
I enjoyed your post; it was an interesting read. I look forward in reading your works; they sound great.
Thanks,
Tracey D
booklover0226 at gmail dot com
Actually my husband has become one of my best CP for my books. He likes to joke that I model my heros after him 🙂
christina
cgricci@yahoo.com
Thanks for being in the hop!
bacchus76 at myself dot com
I love your post, it was great:)My husband has that problem of forgetting or last minute shopping too! But your advice is always something that could be worth a try:) Fur Ball Fever sounds wonderful, just added it to tbr list! Enjoy your weekend!
You can’t go wrong with Hot Jungle Love 🙂
Love to read romance books because I like to know that at least someone is getting an HEA, even if the characters are only fiction! Thanks for joining the hop and the awesome giveaway!
ehaney578 at aol dot com
Thanks tons for the hop! I only read romance. My fav is Lora Leigh! Going to parade Monday with brothers and sisters! Should be FUN!
swkimbell@yahoo.com
Thanks for sharing. Love the blog, great hop!
krystalshannan@yahoo(dot)com
Thanks for the awesome hop and giveaways! This is so much fun! Thank you! My favorite thing about romance is the romance. lol I love the characters, the plots, the HEA’s, the love. I love it all!
shadowluvs2read(at)gmail(dot)com
Great post. Thanks for the giveaway.
mythic021@gmail.com
Romance Hop…loving it! But so many sites in so little time!
No doubt, I believe in romance! Pretty Woman….my fav movie, proves that there’s an HEA for any and everyone.
wow, I am loving Fur Ball Fever…cute and funny!
Thank you for the opportunity to visit your site to check out your work.
Belinda, belgre@comcast.net
Thank you for your post and the chance to win..
ronnkelly3@aol.com
Thanks for participating! Really like the hop so far!! I love reading, especially romance. I love reading contemporary, historical and erotic romance. I love the happy ending that is garenteed at the end. My favorite book is Lover Mine by JR Ward! I love John Matthew and Xhex. My favorite romantic moment was when my fiancé asked me to marry him! We meant two years ago right around when summer was ending when my friend and I went out for our last big night out before classes started again. I think it is romantic when he brings me flowers because no one else has ever done it! Thanks so much! Hope everyone else is having a great long weekend!!
prettyunicorn78@yahoo.com
For me it’s about the growing intimacy/bond between the man and woman.
Thanks for participating in the hop and giving us all a chance to share our stories and win.
bidelia78@yahoo.com
haha, what great tips there 🙂 Thank you for the giveaway and for being part of the hop!
craigcrystal(at)ymail(dot)com
Sounds like a great book! Thanks for posting!
verusbognar (at) gmail (dot) com
I adore feline shifters!
Thanks for participating in the hop and giving us all a chance to win.
bidelia78@yahoo.com
I don’t have a squeeze and haven’t gotten any romantic gifts in the past, but hopefully my prince will come one day soon 🙂
Thanks for the awesome and amazing giveaway!
cassandrahicks1989@yahoo.com
The books sound good.
My other half has been introduced to my love for romance novels 🙂 Being a classic romance kind of guy anyway, he doesn’t seem to mind 🙂 He’ll ask me questions about the book I’m reading, and even if he’s not really genuinely interested, he sure has me convinced! He even likes going with me to see the romantic “chick flicks” that we all love. I’ll never forget watching him cry during “The Notebook” and “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” He’ll even surprise me and buy me the book I’ve been waiting months to read sometimes. I sure am lucky to have such a keeper 🙂
Both of the books sound great! Thank you for the post and the giveaway 🙂
songbird1613 at yahoo dot com
Best gift- my little monsters. ;0)
Jesse
jesse.kimmelfreeman@gmail.com
Brilliant advice!
bituin76 AT hotmail DOT com
the best gift my hubby gave me was watching the kids on Saturday afternoons so I could take a nap. Of course, he usually got a late night reward:-)
lindaandrews@lindaandrews.net
Fur Ball Fever sounds like a fun story. Yes there are times my husband has no idea what to get me for gifts, so I have started leaving him lists.
skpetal at hotmail dot com
You do deserve your own provincial seal 🙂 Fur Ball Fever looks really good ..
more to add to my lists
thanks for participating ! glhince@gmail.com
Yeah, introducing my dh to romance isn’t possible as I sit here listening to his war game go off in the other room.
Tweeted your link Maureen.
lcahoon(at)gmail(dot)com
Awesome post! I have two best gifts…Nook Color and Kindle Fire! My husband knows what makes me tick, reading romances! Take away my ereaders and PMS will look pleasant!
susanmplatt AT hotmail DOT com
Cute post! BTW, Fur Ball Fever sounds interesting! sharon@sharoncooper.net