Who Wants Some Miraculous Better-Than-Sex Cake?


“What’s on the dessert menu?” a plump woman asked. I swore she was a neighboring rancher, not a guest.
“Besides banoffee pie, Chef Armand has prepared my personal favorite.” Confidentiality laced Dodie’s next words. “It’s called Miraculous Better-Than-Sex Cake.”
Amid the burst of laughter, a woman said, “I’ll have a big piece. At my age, cake is an acceptable substitute for the real deal, anyway.”
“It’s better,” another onlooker proclaimed.
“I feel your pain,” Dodie replied. “Trust me, this cake is better than Big Bart, my battery-operated bedtime companion, and that’s saying a lot.”

Recipe for Miraculous Better-Than-Sex-Cake

10 1/4 ounces German chocolate cake mix (or use yellow or golden)
1 1/4 cups water mixed with 2 tsp instant coffee
1/3 cup canola oil
3 eggs
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (16 ounce) jar caramel or butterscotch topping (or make your own)
1 cup whipping cream, whipped
1 (8 ounce) bag toffee pieces, or use 4 Heath or Skor bars, chopped

  • Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  • Make and bake cake as directed on package in a 9” x 13” pan.
  • Poke top of warm cake every 1/2″ with handle of wooden spoon. Drizzle sweetened condensed milk evenly over cake and let stand until milk has absorbed into cake.
  • Drizzle with caramel or butterscotch topping. Run knife around sides of pan to loosen cake. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until cake has chilled.
  • Spread whipping cream over top of cake. Sprinkle with toffee chips.
  • Store cake covered, in the refrigerator. Best if chilled overnight.
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